Michele Madden: "I want Stacia from Hawkwind doing her tits and sword thing'...

MaF's favourite frontwoman kicks off our latest bout of important Q & A shenanigans, 'My Dream Band'

Well, we're back with another round of questionnaires, probing the great and good of the world of metal about stuff of importance... But enough of the formalities - on with the show! Hello! And thanks for participating in the latest of Metal as Fuck’s legendarily specious Q &A’s…  "You are so welcome! I live for this stuff! But I am also hating you right now because I know that I am going to wanna change my mind, oh, I dunno, about 100 fucking times before this shit goes to press...so lets just say that this is a sonic snapshot form the bowels of my bed on this cold august day..." 

Your comments are duly noted. As this one is called My Dream Band, we’d like you to expound on what would be your ideal five piece heavy metal/hard rock etc etc band (doesn’t actually have to be a five piece but mine would be so that’s what I’m suggesting) – tell us as little or as much as you like. But first off, I lied about the formalities. It's time for an introduction – who are you and where are you from, band-wise? "This is like musical AA! My name is Michele Madden. Bass player,guitarist and singer.  If you are in Australia you can experience my noisy whitetrash glory as the swinging devil-may-care mouth for Los Hombres Del Diablo and I also do the same while playing bass for the mighty Saint Cecilia. And if acoustic be your sonic want? I provide, doing my solo troubadour thing in various boltholes worldwide. Were we to be in Los Angeles? I would be fronting Meldrum and if we were in jail? Make no mistake you would be calling me "Daddy"...now,moving right along..." 

Ahem, yes. Let's get into this. Who would be your frontman in this outfit? "I'm gonna be a nineties trash bag here and say Phil Anselmo in his prime. When that boy was on he was ON! Huge influence on me when I started out with Tourettes and he was swinging, heavy and most of all understandable when he sang." 

Yes, quite an important trait that for a vocalist. Now to the guitarists – two of them please. And would you have dual lead players, or a lead and a rhythm player or some other combination – and why? "Ok, for rhythm it is Malcom Young from pre-Back in Black AC/DC. For restraint, nuance and space? None fucking finer.His timing is an absolute gift. He is so giving to the rest of the band when he plays. Provides the best black velvet to Angus's diamond so to speak. And his tone smacks me about a foot below my navel. Lead?... Ruyter Suys from Nashville Pussy. Why the fuck not? She is nasty, heartfelt and gives it live. I love her style and commitment".

Okay, thank you. Now for some Bassist(s) please! Tell us why your preferred four string exponent is so good... "Lemmy. Why is he so good? Um, because he is GOD!!! His Moliness is the reason that I play bass! And he is so fucking solid and complimentary to the music. He is firmly rooted in tradition too. Those runs are so fifties in flavour and as for tone and volume? Don' get me started...!"

Are you sure you don't want to get started? No? Alright then, Drummer(s) next – Or maybe you’d like a Doktor Avalanche’ style drum machine? "I am gonna put Gene Hoglan on the stool. Not just because I play with him. Just because if you are into this kinda shit you know that there is no other choice. Got to love a mean who's favourite drummer is Stevie Wonder. Actually, I am going to do an Allman Brothers thing and have TWO drummers and my second one is Matt Skitz. Two of the nicest men I know right there". 

Any other sidemen? A keyboard player for colour perhaps? "Nah, but I want Stasia from Hawkwind doing her tits and sword thing, a bubble machine and Clyde the Oranatang from Any Which way but Loose"...

And you shall have them, my pretty, you shall have them...