Cauldron - Chained To The Nite (Earache/Riot)

On Cauldron's MySpace page, under the apparently misunderstood heading of “About”, we learn the following:

'Spawned out of the untimely disbanding of Goat Horn, Cauldron features Jason Decay (bass/vocals), Ian Chains (guitar) and Steel Rider (drums). These Chi's play straight up, rite heavy tit perv, beer swilling, bullet belting Metal. Metal that's both Heavy and Metal continuously, simultaneously... Fuck rite off!'

Okay then. I get the strange feeling that I’m in a Spinal Tap moment here.

Chained To The Nite opens with a classic thrashy rock riff and clean vocal that sets a scene somewhere around 1986. The album cover artwork of a voluptuous woman in chains, one breast tantalisingly visible, plainly gives away the vibe of the album. Along with the funky spelling of “Nite” in the title, the imagery seems to be all about the 80s. Something about it reminds me a bit of Alice Cooper, a bit Scorpions, a bit Helloween and a touch of Def Leppard. You get the idea. These guys are shamelessly reliving the 80s and seem to be loving every second of it. And let’s face it, who can really blame them for that?

The opening track We Are Young And Hungry also sets a precedent for the lyrics – corn with a side of cheese. The guitars and bass are tight, there are some nice lead breaks. The drums are a little bit pedestrian at first, though they pick up in places from the second track onwards. But while the musicianship is tight and the riffs entertaining, the lyrics and vocals let the album down. The vocals are competent, but there’s no power. And there’s a place for cheesy lyrics, but the actual lyrical content here is often woeful.

Track 3, for example – Chained Up In Chains. As opposed to what? Spaghetti?

“Chained up in chains under the moonlight/I’m trying hard to make it alright”

Under the moonlight? It’s all a bit juvenile and boring. As far as I’m concerned, if you have a metal sound with a clean vocal, it’s important to have interesting and clever lyrical content. (Don’t get me started on the latest Metallica offering and “What don’t kill ya, make ya more strong”. Shudder!) Sometimes you can get away with slightly cheesy or boring lyrics if you have a really powerful and raucous sound that carries any weakness in the poetry or the voice is so ball-tearing that you don’t care. Sadly, that’s not really the case here. I kept finding myself waiting for that build up to a real metal howl and it just never came.

There’s also an awful lot of chorus effect used on the guitars on this record, which only adds to that 80s vibe. However, a band like Children of Bodom can use chorus, sound a bit 80s, then punch free with riffs like a pit bull breaking free of the garden fence and devouring the postman. Cauldron use chorus and then break free a bit like a tired old Labrador, rather surprised that he’s free and reluctant to really go anywhere.

The fifth track Dreams Die Young has a much more promising start. It bolts out, the guitars are strong, the drums are much faster and tighter. The opening made me think of classic Iron Maiden, which I think is more what these guys are after. But then the flat and emotionless vocal brings it down again.

This is a release that strives to capture that old school heavy metal glory of the 80s and it is largely successful musically. The songs are well constructed and there’s a certain variety on the album within its chosen field. But the vocalist needs to let go of his balls and belt it out once in a while. A clean vocal should never seem monotone. The very last sound on the album is a half hearted yell from the singer that hints at the possibility that there is some power in there somewhere. He needs to dig that out. And they need to refine their writing to something above a high school level.

“She was a little girl inside/But not seen from the outside” (Bound To The Stake). See what I mean?

Cauldron's Chained to the Nite is out on 6 April on Earache/Riot.