Milking The Goatmachine - Back From The Goats (Nuclear Blast/Anstalt)

Anstalt is the horrible little bastard son of Nuclear Blast and its raison d'etre is to bring the sublime and the ridiculous to your front door, and have them kick you in the teeth.

Songs about goats by brothers Goatfreed and Goatleeb Udder, who hail from the planet GoatEborg and are here to spread the word of goatgrind and ultimately conquer the world. I feel like I should be stoned whilst writing this.

Grindcore as a genre is insane, of that there is no doubt. Take everyone's favourite mental Seth Putnam of Anal Cunt. If he's not punching female fans and Nazi-saluting the audience, he's filling his body with so much shit that he slips into a coma. Add a boat load of 30-second songs about rape, child abuse, murder and homosexuality and you've got yourself some grindcore. Although Milking The Goatmachine aren't as thoroughly unpleasent as our friend from "the 'Cunt", they're clearly fucked up beyond the comprehension of a mere human such as I.

Opening ditty March Into Shed (where the Udder brothers apparently live) starts with a soundbite from the 1976 satire Network before descending into a flurry of down-tuned riffs and vocals that resemble the final gurgles of a dying, well, goat. The high pitched screaming vocals are pretty porcine so the lads are obviously intent on keeping the livestock vibe running for the duration of Back From The Goats. The deep, horrendous vocals and pained shrieks continue for the album's full 36 minutes, interspersed with goat noises, blastbeats, and other musical unpleasentness.

Let's cut to the chase; this album is fucking ridiculous. However, for this very reason is extraordinary. Songs like Sour Milk Boogie and Goats Got No Clits demonstrate that this is not a serious outing; the use of a quote from satirical film to introduce the album is a subtle hint to this. But there is no denying that the blokes behind the goat masks are talented musicians. Goatfreed may not be Yngwie Malmsteen and the drumming is hardly Derek Roddy but they're not meant to be; this is simple, brutal, insane music. Surf Goataragua is a moment of absolute genius - a pure grind cover of Sacred Reich's Surf Nicaragua, which samples The Surfaris Wipe Out. You simply cannot get more mental than that.

You won't learn anything intellectual from this album. You won't search long and hard for the hidden meanings behind Rise Of The Wise Goat and Bingo Bongo (which includes a quick blast of The Imperial March from Star Wars) but what you will do is smile solidly for half an hour, whilst occasionally smashing bottles over your head and kicking the crap out of passing strangers.

You have been warned.

Milking the Goatmachine's Back From The Goats is out now on Anstalt/Riot.