Five Finger Death Punch - American Capitalist (Universal)

Is this what the kids really want? Apparently So...
Release Date: 
10 Oct 2011 - 11:30pm

When I climbed aboard the good ship Metal as Fuck, editor and all round avuncular fellow Scott Adams told me that the vibe was positive, or words to that effect. Reviews were not to be hatchet jobs unless you were served up with a big major-label shit sandwich. We’re here to encourage, said the big man, we want to accentuate positive things about ‘our kind of music’ (his words, not mine), to nurture the underground and help it to the next level of awesome.

That’s all well and good, and, to be honest, I have as little time to listen to awful records as you have to read about me listening to them. But guess what – I just got served one of those shit sandwiches he was talking about.

Five Finger Death Punch encapsulate, in forty brutally vapid minutes, everything that stinks about modern heavy metal when it gets to major label level. The trite, ‘social commentary’ lyrical stance, the overly simplistic, boneheaded bludgeon of the music (some of which comes from the pen of former Hillary Duff guitarist Jason Hook), the faux-earnest grungey shout-croon post Vedder cliché that is Ivan Moody’s vocal technique, the horrible metallists-in-da-hood imagery of the (and I’m sure they’ll say themselves that the whole thing is an oh-so knowing post modern sideways glance at consumerist society) gratuitous fifteen-year-old-crotch level artwork – there isn’t a single redeeming moment on this record, which at times makes Papa Roach and Saliva look like Pulitzer standard intellectual gargantuans.

Look, in itself American Capitalist is at the base level of ok – I’d certainly rather hear Back for More on the radio than Katy Perry or, for that matter, absolutely any Rn’B you care to mention, and, like The Jam told us, the public gets what the public wants (and 500,000 people a time wanted this band's first two records, incredibly). But if this is what gets foisted on them in the mainstream, how do they know really what they do and don’t want? Let’s get the kids listening to the likes of Amebix and leave bloated nonsense like this to those who can’t, or won’t, do any better for themselves.