Catton Hall

[Festival] Bloodstock Open Air 2010 - Day 2: Better Late Than Never

There's a reason this is late. Count Gorlock actually died, and was happily in Heaven. However, one day he checked his emails and remembered he hadn't posted day 2, and pleaded with God to be sent back down so he could spread his words of wisdom like a smellier, less hirsute John the Baptist. He was halfway through getting sucked off by Michael Jackson when he found out btw, so I hope you're happy.

Hey it's me, the big fucking idiot.

Bloodstock Open Air 04 - Overview: Bawl-out

And so lovable Count Gorlock returned unscathed from Derby. After three days of bitching, sniping and general unpleasantness it was finally over. You'd think he had the worst time ever, the unappreciative shit. So why is he sad it's all over? Read on...

 

Bloodstock Open Air- Day 3: Curse of the £7 Falafel...

It's Day 3. The grumbling arsehole we sent to Derby is still alive. We did not predict this. Time to send in the poisoned vegetarian delicacies...

 

Bloodstock Open Air- Day 2: Enemy of the Sun

Here it is. Day 2. Our correspondent speaks like a man who has seen wars and undergone great tragedy, when in actuality he's just spent another day in a field getting drunk and miserable. The pussy. Read on as Metal as Fuck gets its face blasted again, but this time the metal has nothing to do with it...

For some odd reason, I woke up at a ridiculously early time in the morning. It must have been about six, as there was no sign of life outside my little domed barricade.

Bloodstock Open Air- Day 1: Confessions of a man (mad enough to live amongst mullets).

Three days in a field, surrounded by hessians, booze and burger vans. Is this hell? No. It's Derby. Metal as Fuck attended the Bloodstock Open Air festival and got its face blasted to bits by metal. Read on!